I wish I could delete this blog, and my web page, I wish I could go back to my happier and more eclectic pursuit of writing in my own handwritng in a journal. That I would enjoy.

I do not believe that I am doing this, having not eaten anything but cheese and crackers since 5:30 AM and we have only a 27 minute lunch every day I am here at 9PM after a really enjoyable and fun Math class which is the opposite of this class, as far as interesting and fun (even though I am not very good at all at math) I am sitting here writing in this blog because it is compulsory, when I should be trying to eat some dinner and enjoying a little tiny moment of serenity. and I get no enjoyement or serenity or anything from this compulsory exercise of writing an frigging blog entry. I guess it's supposed to be something theraputic or some kind of wierd American idea of being a productive human being. I think Americans are sick people and that blogs are an invasion of my peace and health, and I can't wait to delete this thing when this class is done, and go on to loftier more noble and peaceful pursuits. I really enjoy keeping a journal in a pretty book, and my own hand writing. Now, that would be healing anf theraputic.

Today I got up at 9 am to be at the computer lab, (I was there only 31/2 hours yesterday) when I discovered that my car had a broken axle, and I spent the next 6 hours at the Big O Tires, and $400 later I had not only 2 new axles but 2 new tires as well, and I had planned to spend 5 hours today on wading through this book.

I have found that there is only one computer lab person that is at all helpful, and she wasn't there yesterday. So, basically the book is my only source of learning. The reality is I don't even have time  to see a math tutor, and there definitely isn't time in the day to come in to schedule a computer tutor when I really need a math

Mood:  happy

I rather like my October 17th entry, so I don't want October 19th's entry (3x) to diminish my entry about Dozer Pannell teh cyber dog from October 17th.

Mood:  crushed out

And I am  tired of being starving because of not having time to eat a meal, or shop for toilet paper, or even go to church. I am tired of driving so fast to get here, and racing into my classes.

How on earth am I supposed to race over here after the heavy competition of sales at work 1 hour before my 6pm class in Math and study for this class??? This class is literally killing me, my heart can't ake this with my high blood pressure. i am really angry, because I can't read the book on Word because the glasses are really screwing up my eyesight to study for the quiz tommorow, and the quizzes are so confusing. My chest is just overwhelming me with pain and pressure. And I am really feeling overwhelmed, because I enjpy the computer, but I can't concentrate on any other classes because of all the stuff I fell behind on because of my son. I am really upset, I thought computers would be fun. But, it is endless work that takesd up all my free time. I don't get meals, I miss church, I can't go food shopping because of having to come to the computer lab, Saturday and Sunday. I am really furious. I am 50 years old, I work 50 hours a week, and I have creditors calling me every 5 minutres, I hate computers. It's not even fun, except tof Power Point. And I'm not even going to study for this test tommorow because I'll probably be in the hospital before I finish the class anyway. What the heck this is harder than Educational Psychology and all those papers, and Multicultural Education in the same semester and I nver felt like this kind of pressure on my body. I hate computers with a passion today.